Finding Words

On Wednesday night, August 17^th, after I had returned from the rural home visits in San Antonio Aguas Caliente, I began to realize that I was having an uncharacteristically difficult time formulating how the experience had affected me and then translating that to words.  Due to my block, I just posted some vivid photos to the blog for followers to visually read the story. 

On Thursday, I returned to Casa Jackson.  I entered the front gates and headed to the lower level prep room where I methodically chose my smock to place over the top of my clothes and then tied the white cloth mask around the back of my neck, preparing to walk up to the second level where fifteen little survivors were thriving.  Axel, Ana, Magali, Freddie, Alberto, Naomi, Daniela, Laura, Pedro, Cristian, Allison, Mauricio, JoAnthony, Simon, and Estrella.  Each one of them had their own stories.  I knew very little of what their stories were that brought them to Casa Jackson.  But, what I did know was between the smiles, cries, feedings, poopies, giggles, wiggles, and Mauricio's special vibrating lips, I came to love them.  I also came to honestly realize that this journey was not for me to regularly express to the world via my blog what I was experiencing because it was not about me.  I knew, however, it was important to tell their story.  I tried for the next two days to find the words that were special enough to do each one of them the justice and respect they deserved, but struggled with doing this, immensely.  So, I apologize for failing to post to my blog those days, leaving my followers to wonder what Antiguan cobblestone road I had probably lost myself on.  Truly, the only place I got lost was in the wonder of each one of those babies’ fortitude for living.  So, without words, I chose to let them express their story through their own eyes. . .

Thank you for following me through this very important journey.  I hope you enjoy my final video show of the photos I took of most of my experience in Antigua, including the beautiful hearts you can so readily see through the photos of these very special babies at the end of the show. 

One of my housemates, Tony, told me about his story of why he came to The God's Child Project-- he was inspired by a song called Better People, by Xavier Rudd.  There's more good to do. . .  I hope you realize there is more good to do in the world-- you can begin with your own families and communities. Best to you and the one's you give your heart to.

Rural Home Visits in Photos

Sickness Subsides, Drug Offers Galore

I set out this morning to work my shift at Casa Jackson hoping my suspicious illness had passed enough to allow me the pleasure of being with the babies today. I still felt bad in the stomach, but my slight fever had subsided. We walked the 30 minutes from Carolina's to the Dreamer Center, but as soon as I arrived, I could barely stand vertical due to deep lingering pain in my abdomen. I hailed a tuk tuk and went back to Carolina's.

After several hours of laying down again, I couldn't take the idea of being indoors anymore, so I navigated my way to Central Park for some famous Guatemalan coffee con leche. I had the newest housemate in tow who had just arrived to Carolina's. His name is Donald-Don-Tony. He is from Bismark, ND (where the founder of The God's Child Project is from). He arrived in the house when I was the only guest home and he introduced himself to me as Donald. After he and I came back from downtown, I introduced him to Katelyn as Donald, but he said he'd rather be called Don. About an hour later, the others arrived home and then he told them he goes by Tony. Hence, his Guatemalan name is now Donald-Don-Tony.

Today was the first day since being in Guatemala in which I wore a shirt exposing both of my half-sleeve tattoos. Well, this is not a common sight in Antigua, unless you're a tourist or a gang member. Not being anything close to the latter, I was actually a bit surprised when I was walking down the sidewalk and a 10 year old kid came walking up to me, called me "honey", and asked me if I wanted some marijuana. I obviously told him No, but I was even more adamant that he understood that I was not his Honey!

At about 6:15 pm, I arrived at the Pollo Campero (like a KFC) to wait for the escort to walk me to the Homeless Shelter to serve food. I was just hanging in the front of the building when this American ex-pat who lives in Honduras, about 65 years old, walked up an began displaying his drunken conversation skills by complimenting my tattoos. He then proceeded to show me his faded- I-can't-tell-what-it-was arm tattoo that he got in his Army days. After that, he managed to work in that he was intending on asking the taxi drivers where he could get some "blow" and then asked if I would also like some cocaine if he could find some. Of course, in my nothing less than assertive way, proceeded to tell him to blow off (in so many words). No one ever came to escort me to the Shelter, so I headed back home for a great group dinner.

The girls and I went out to Mono Loco (Crazy Monkey) for Ladies Night. They serve liquor drinks for 4Q (50 cents US) on Tuesday nights. When's the last time you've given the bartender a $1 bill for a vodka and OJ and then he hands you 50 cents back? Pretty cheap! Other than the drinks it was pretty uneventful.

All in all, I'm glad to say that I feel much better than I have the last two days and can not wait to get back to Casa Jackson tomorrow morning. I am also going around with the social workers tomorrow visiting individual family homes. That should be quite an eye and heart opening experience.

Photo of me and the girls at Mono Loco.

Sick in Central America

I've been feeling the effects of something bad since early this morning. I've stayed away from the water, so I definitely don't think its that. I ate a cheese burger at a restaurant last night, so the meat might be the culprit. But, it also feels like the flu.

Because I am sick, I didn't go to work with the babies today. But, I heard from my housemates who worked today that they weighed the babies. Little Simon, 3 months old, gained a pound since last month. He is a whopping 6 pounds now! And, 1-1/2 yr old Estrella weighed in at 16 pounds today. She was 9 pounds when she was admitted this June.

I received a newsletter from Amy, the Volunteer coordinator for Casa Jackson, indicating that on top of the limited baby to caretaker ratio that already exists, several nurses have recently resigned. So, the need for volunteers is mounting.

My day consisted of hanging out in my bed and making trips to the restroom. I wasn't able to stomach lunch, and tonight's dinner was miniscule. Carolina was very sweet and fixed broth soup for dinner, along with bland potatoes in hopes I could stomach something.

For those of you following on Facebook- thank you for all the get well soon wishes. Hopefully, I'll be back with the babies tomorrow.

Babies and Canopy Zip Line

Today is Domingo in Antigua and that means rest for the weary, right?  Well, not for me. After a restless night with rain, something lingering in the house that makes me stuffy, and the sound of one of my housemates throwing up all night from a mysterious bug, I rose ready to work at Casa Jackson for my first morning shift. Carolina takes Sundays off, so luckily I had some fruit and snack bars to have for breakfast. Jen, a medical student from NYC, and I walked down to Market St where we were able to hail a Tuk tuk for a ride over to Casa Jackson.

Once at Casa Jackson, we quickly became engulfed  in the overwhelming busyness of only having three volunteers present for the needs of 13 babies, plus it was the first day in several that the babies were well enough (virus that had spread to all of them) for them to have baths. Jen, myself, and Rafa (aka, the crazy guy from Spain) bathed, dressed, fed, changed bedding, and gave nebulizer treatments to each of them. Not a lot of time for hugging and loving today, but I definitely fit lots of quick loves and squeezes in!

It really dawned on me that I have not felt emotionally overwhelmed by this environment of underdeveloped babies as it seems some of my co-volunteers express. These babies are precious and wonderful, don't take me wrong. I presume my filters are still in place from so many years working child abuse cases and recognizing the importance of showing love and empathy, but maintaining a protector status rather than entering into a sometimes vulnerable sympathetic realm where emotions become so over-stimulated that it becomes difficult to separate yourself from what you do vs. who you are.  We'll see how I fare in the next several days.

I went on a canopy tour this afternoon where we zip-lined over tree tops of the Filedelfia Coffee Plantation. The longest line was about 450 ft where I was able to see the peaks of all three volcanoes that overlook Antigua- Agua, Fuego, and Acatenango.  Since I was the only zip line veteran on the tour, I was volunteered to go first. This one was definitely easier than my first experience in Puerto Vallarta because this time I didn't have to be my own brake service. You'll see no photos of me flying though, because I wasn't about to pay the extra 100Q for one picture.

It began raining hard and fast again tonight just before dinner. The other gals and I planned to go to a burger and bar called Lava to eat. I wasn't thrilled about walking in the rain clear across town to dinner and mentioned grabbing a tuk tuk for the trip.  Then one of the many 20 year old gals here threw out to me, "oh, live on the edge sometimes". My competitive self took over and I found myself stomping through puddles, water being sprayed in my face, gripping flip flops with my toes to stop them from sliding off my feet, and getting splashed by tuk tuks driving by me throughout the next 20 minute walk. Okay, okay-- I know its all about the experience, right? But, after dinner, I told the girls I was getting a tuk tuk to take me home because I'm old enough and experienced enough, that I know to pick and choose when I do and don't want to live on the edge! I had one other in the group who agreed with me and we enjoyed a dry ride home...

Photos are of me w/ gear; and four of my housemates (left to right, Jen, me, Annette, & Katelyn).

Breakfast at 8, Lunch at 1, and Dinner at 7:30- or sometime within that hour...

I'm living in a Guatemalan house at the base of Agua Volcano. Dona Carolina and her husband host six or seven volunteers at a time here. Some are here for a few days, while others are here for multiple months. She provides a clean, secure environment that includes a private room, three meals a day, keys to the front door, amongst other hospitalities. All this for $10/day-- you can't get that in a hotel! Also, I was able to secure use of her WiFi for 25Q (about $3) for the week, as well as have her do my laundry for the same cost. The house has six bedrooms, three baths, an open-air atrium where I can literally watch and smell the rain fall down just steps away from my bedroom door- very tropical.

After breakfast this morning, the other girls in the house and I went downtown to secure our places on the zip line for tomorrow, as well my spot on the bus for the volcano hike on Friday at the travel agency. Of course we got sidetracked by beautiful markets with eager marketers. I was coached to begin the offer for the goods with half of what the marketeer quotes as the price to try to bring it down some. I used that suggestion, plus started lower because I figured if the tourists know to cut the price in half, the marketers most definitely know that secret too, so odds are they raise the originally quoted price-- follow me so far? Well, I started my bidding at about a third less than half-- and walked away with a beautifully colorful 450Q hand-woven wall hanging for 225Q ($30). Pretty good for a Spanglish speaking chica, I'd say!

At 1:45, I finally arrived at Casa Jackson for my second shift after experiencing tuk-tuk drivers on slow paced Guatemalan time since they were supposed to pick us up at 1:15 to have us there by 1:30. I was reminded by Carolina that in Guatemala 'on time' means "sometime within the hour".

There were quite a few volunteers (some scheduled, some just floated in) today which made it an opportune time to get to spend alot of one-on-one time with the babies. I spent the majority of my shift with Ana, an approx. 10 mo old baby who barely looks 3 months old. However, she is vibrant, funny, strong (pulls herself to a stand on the side of the crib), and a major cuddle-bug. I changed her, fed her, squeezed her, and giggled with her. She seems to be very mild mannered and content. A lovely baby.

It began raining at about 4:15 pm and is still pouring. Three of my housemates hiked the volcano this afternoon-- I hope they took raincoats with them.

Photos are of me and some statues at a fancy hotel & museum, and of me and Ana from Casa Jackson.

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